Where do you live near?

I was talking to two guys and I asked them where they lived near. One guy said he lived near the local police station. The other guy said he lives near Family Mart. Since there a over a thousand Family Marts,  go figure.



今週のワンポイント英会話 第607回 〜Don't sweat the small stuff.〜

Don't sweat the small stuff.=Don't worry about small problems.


Don't worry about the small stuff and it's all small stuff.





Good lesson before .....

You might remember the blog in which I told you about the young couple who were getting engaged. They came to my office last night. I asked them what they hoped for in the future.
 His reply was that he wanted to have her love forever. She said that she wanted a lot of money. He of course was shocked but it was a good lesson. We have a saying in America.

' Think before you leap.'


My idiot sons.

Last night at midnight I received a call from two my sons who were both very drunk. They were singing happy birthday to you f____king Viet Cong. Cool but my birthday was awhile ago......     It's very difficult having idiots for sons.


I was installing Skype into my pc and I decided to use the name of my dog as I.D. I was shocked to find out from Skype that someone else in the world is using my dog's name as an I.D. for Skype.


今週のワンポイント英会話 第605回 〜To settle someone down.〜

To settle someone down. =To calm someone down.


My secretary sometimes becomes very upset, it takes me a long time to settle her down.




今週のワンポイント英会話 第603回 〜To be fired up.〜

To be fired up.= To get excited, motivated or to increase effort.


I'm really fired up about trying out my new bicycle.




At the traffic corner.

I was standing on the corner waiting for the traffic light to change when I noticed a guy walking across the street intensely staring at his media device. He stopped in the middle of the street and continued to look at his device. The light changed and he was still stopped in the crosswalk. Irritated motorists began to sound their horns but to no avail. After some of the motorist began shouting their opinions about his intelligence, he moved slowly to the other side of the street. When he passed me I was able to checkout his handheld phone.  I was surprised to see that he was playing games.



今週のワンポイント英会話 第602回 〜Pocket-money.〜

Pocket-money.= Spending money usually carried in one's pocket.


When I was younger, my pockets full of pocket-money, but now .....





For Dieters.

For all of you dieters out there: 
The most delicious taste is SLIM.


今週のワンポイント英会話 第599回 〜To help yourself.〜

To help yourself.= To take care something or to do some things by yourself.


When my kids were younger they used to help themselves to food in the refrigerator.



Young lady and her ring.

Two of my students fell in love and he proposed to her. She of course said "yes" so he went to buy  a diamond ring  for her. He called her and told her what he had done and he asked her to meet him at their favorite bar and he would present to her there. The young lady was super happy and she told her friends of the sensational news. She and her friends immediately began to celebrate. He was delayed a bit at the office. 
By the time he arrived at the bar she had drunk too much and had fallen asleep and she was in no condition to receive her ring.


Miss Beautiful

If you come to Nishinakajima you will see a number of delivery people scurrying here and there. Except one... Miss Beautiful. 
She is a short women about 25 years old. She weighs about 80 or so kilos. Each of her finger nails are painted a different color. Although she's not married she wears a wedding ring. She calls herself Miss Beautiful. 
She must be the worlds most affable person. 
She knows just about everyone around here. Every ten or fifteen meters she stops to speak to someone. 
 After dropping off a package at my office, I found her sitting at my desk looking at baby pictures. Another time she complained that the package was too heavy and she asked me to help her.
She may not be the best delivery person but she is certainly the most interesting.




A delivery person and a pretty girl.

Recently I observed a delivery person running along the sidewalk pushing a cart in front of him. He wasn't watching where he was going but watching a very pretty girl in front of him. 
Unfortunately he didn't see the sign post in front of him. He crashed the cart into the post knocking himself on his butt. 
The pretty girl never noticed him.

今週のワンポイント英会話 第596回 〜Seldom.〜

Seldom.= Rare, not usual.


I seldom use the bus any more.





Made in Italy by artist.

I had to by some new jeans so I went to a members only shop in which I belong. In the men's section I met an older man well over 70 who wore a pair of thick glasses and a warm smile. I asked him to show me some cheap jeans. His smile became much bigger. 
He said "Maido" in Japanese. He then sold me three pairs of expensive Italian slacks and matching jacket which according to him were made just for me in Italy. My credit card was totally nuked.

If you are in Osaka be careful of senior salesmen with warm smiles.



今週のワンポイント英会話 第589回 〜Bi-cultured. 〜

Bi-cultured. = To be of two races.


My children are bi-cultured. 
(NOTE :  Many Japanese people call people of two cultures "HALF".  This is rude.  Bi-cultured is more acceptable.)



My father's saying.

My father was a traveling salesman in New York. He always had something humorous to say to his customers. When he was asked about his business, he would reply.

"Business is like sex. 
When it's good, it's good or it's very good but when it's bad, it's still good."


今週のワンポイント英会話 第588回 〜The five seconds rule. 〜

The five seconds rule. = If some food drops on the floor and it is on the floor for less than five seconds, it's OK to take it from the floor and eat it.


If I'm eating a slice of cheese cake and a piece drops on the floor, the five seconds rule applies.




今週のワンポイント英会話 第584回 〜Don't be a cloud on a sunny day.〜

Don't be a cloud on a sunny day.= Don't bring everyone down.


When I'm feeling great and someone tells me my age, I tell them "Don't be a cloud on a sunny day".





Yesterday I forgot that my wallet was in my jeans and I put them into the washing machine. Does that mean that I was laundering money?


Her eyes said,

I got on an express train recently. Due to a leg injury I must use a cain. As soon as I got on the train a young woman jumped up and offered me her seat. As I was near my stop, I declined.  She then offered me her seat again.  I declined again. She then offered her seat for a third time.  
This time, however,  the look in her eyes said "sit down or I'll kill you." 
 I then thanked her and sat down...


今週のワンポイント英会話 第577回 〜To cut it. 〜

To cut it. = To make it or to make a success.


Unless you study at home, you won't cut it in English class.




今週のワンポイント英会話 第576回 〜To knock'em dead. To knock them dead.〜

To knock'em dead. To knock them dead.= To do your best.


My daughter is a professional ballerina.  Sometimes after a performance, she calls me and tells me, "I really knocked'em dead tonight."



Small world

I often go to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned. The hygienist who treated me for two years left to have her baby. Her replacement treated me for another two years. She also left to have a baby. She was replaced by the original hygienist who returned to work after her child was able to get into a daycare center. It's a small world.

hygienist : 歯科衛生士


Bullet train

I overheard some European tourist asking some Japanese people for directions to the 'bullet train'. The Japanese people didn't understand what they were talking about. It seems that Japan's high speed train is known internationally as the 'Bullet train'. But no one in Japan knows this. Here is called the 'Shinkansen'. 
So if you are here in Japan and ask for the bullet, someone may call the police.

*bullet train : 超特急列車新幹線
 bullet : 弾丸

今週のワンポイント英会話 第573回 〜The heavy lifting.〜

The heavy lifting.= To do the most difficult task.


When paper work is concerned, my secretary does the heavy lifting.



Thanks for the well-trained shop staff,

I was in a DIY store recently and due to gimpy knees I fell down face first. The store staff were well-trained for such an emergency as four or five of them rushed toward me. One of them read to me from a manual that I was having a heart attack but I shouldn't worry as the AED was on it's way. The guy with the AED had the fire of excitement in his eyes. After I told them that my heart was fine it was only my knees a look of disappointment spread over their faces. Especially the guy with the AED. A female clerk explained to me that they had practiced the AED drill for weeks and this was the first real chance to use it.



今週のワンポイント英会話 第572回 〜Half-assed.〜

Half-assed.= To not do a good job.  To work without enthusiasm.


The cleaners did a half-assed job pressing my suit so I asked them to do it again.



今週のワンポイント英会話 第571回 Thrifty.

Thrifty.= To spend money or time wisely.  To watch every penny.


I'm the most thrifty person I know, I buy everything on sale.



今週のワンポイント英会話 第569回 To get it in gear.

To get it in gear.= Let's go. Improve yourself.


I wish that my kids would get it in gear and improve their lives.




A man should have it ...

I met a German friend of mine and his pretty Russian wife the other day. 
He was wearing a cool hat and I told him that I thought that his hat was cool and I liked it. He told me that he imported them from Germany and he asked me to try it on.
He then told me I looked good in the hat and that I should keep it. 
He went on to say that if a man likes something he should have it. 
I told him that I liked his wife.  He then took his hat back.


Spring has come

I can tell that the spring baseball tournament is on because around here is where most of the teams stay. This means that all of the coin laundries are full of young men wearing ball caps and washing their uniforms.



The mayor

If the Tigers' Kakefu wanted to become the mayor of Osaka, he would win the election easily. He is for sure the most popular person in Osaka.



今週のワンポイント英会話 第562回 Tradition.

Tradition.= Something unwritten handed down from generation to generation.


My name, my father's and my grandfather's names are about the same.  This is a family tradition.



Good maker

Yesterday when I was passing out fliers I noticed young and middle aged men would stand beside me and young women would soon come to meet them. They would speak for a few seconds and then leave together. This went on for a while until I finished. Later a friend told me that they were call girls and that they were using me as a marker. When a customer would call from out of the area they would tell him to stand next to the tall white haired foreign guy who is handing out fliers and I'll meet you there.
I guess that I'm a pretty good marker.



Lovely comet!

The dentist office on my floor is very busy. The hygienist are often seen dashing to and from the ladies room. Yesterday I saw one of them hurrying out of the restroom with a two meter trail of toilet paper coming out of the back of her uniform. 
Maybe we should call her the Nishinakajima -Minamikata comet!


今週のワンポイント英会話 第560回 Sales pitch.

Sales pitch.= Sales presentation.


A good salesman usually has a sweet sales pitch.




I got a call from the newspaper company and I was told that somebody broke into their office and stole MY chirashi
If you see anybody other than me handing out my school's chirashi, 
that is the thief. 

So please call the police.



今週のワンポイント英会話 第559回 To hang in there.

To hang in there.= To never, never, never give up.


When things get tough, hang in there and everything will work out.

動画はこちら → http://youtu.be/T0Gc6H983b0



今週のワンポイント英会話 第558回 Pull the trigger.

Pull the trigger.= To begin something .


I wanted to buy a new car but since it was expensive it took me a while to pull the trigger.

動画はこちら → http://youtu.be/XOXYvg4u5rc