Alien and the nurse

When I take a physical examination, the nurse must take a blood sample. When she is about to draw blood, I tell her that I'm an alien. At which time she agrees.
And then, I say...

 "Since I' am alien, my blood is green. So please don't be shocked."

 I love to see the look on her face.

BICYCLE INSTRUCTIONS

When I bought my tricycle, it came with instructions and safety tips. On the back page I found this written in English.

"IF YOU ARE AN ALIEN WHO LIVES IN JAPAN, 
PLEASE ASK SOMEONE TO EXPLAIN THE INSTRUCTIONS."

So if you see any little green men with pointed ears, please explain bicycle safety to them.

MY BIKE

Recently I bought a tricycle. The reason why I bought a tricycle is that I have really bad knees. (Too many squats and too many miles of road work.)
Also I know of at least five people who have been injured badly falling off their bicycles. Since my knees don't work well, it would probably crash.
This thing is great! I can use for shopping, carrying stuff or for just riding around. I don't have to worry about falling off.
Please remember that a lot of people over 40 years old are killed of injured on bicycles..

~Tim

今週のワンポイント英会話 第521回

Pie in the sky. = To think rightly and over optimistically.

絵に描いた餅。実現が難しいこと。

I think Mr.Abe's new economic program is pie in the sky.

ニューヨーク英語学院

今週のワンポイント英会話 第520回

To grasp. = To grip or to comprehend. 

つかむ。理解する。

Kanji is very difficult to grasp.

ニューヨーク英語学院