Juso plus.

I ordered some dish washing soap from Germany. 

I was surprised to see that the soap’s name was 

Juso plus!

~Tim~

Tim's mantra

Live strong, 

press on.

~Tim~

Monkey in the graveyard.

Behind my office building is a very large graveyard. I looked out of my window this afternoon and was astonished to see a very large monkey climbing on the headstones and eating the fruit that was left for the deceased. 
The police were called but they were unable to catch it as the monkey climbed over the wall and got away.

 ~Tim~

Strange but true

I was standing in front of my building when I noticed a man in a suit bend down, pick up an old cigarette butt and light it. He finished it, threw it away and then walked into a convenience store. 
Soon after he came out he handed me a bag with a can of coffee. 

" I bought this for you."   he said. 

Then he just walked away. 

~Tim~

*cigarette butt: 吸い殻

Married

My only daughter will marry in a couple of weeks. Two down and two to go.

~Tim~

A Chinese tourist's kindness.

 I was standing in front of the bank waiting for a friend when a young man with an expensive camera and a map of Osaka in his hands (obviously a Chinese tourist), asked me in broken English if I were in trouble and needed assistance.
( Due to bum knees, I need a cain just to stand.) I told him I was fine. 
I shall never forget that kind boy from China.

~Tim~

Good indication?!

A good indication of knowing when you are going to die

 is 

when you can see the face of the bus driver looking straight at you.

~Tim~

Fire!!!!!

On Sunday I heard the screaming sirens of fire engines, ambulances and police cars. A few minutes later firefighters burst into my office looking for the fire. I told them that there wasn't a fire here. They said that they had received a call from this building and from this floor. When I asked them the name of the building that called they found out that came to the wrong building and then rushed out of my office.

~Tim~

Shop staff.

I went to the shop where the salesman sold me some slacks and a jacket from Italy. I happened to run into the same old guy. He asked about the clothes which I had bought. I told him that I was really happy with the color and the style. He said, in that case if you really liked those slacks, you love these. I bought the pants plus a matching shirt. The next I go to this shop I'm going to wear sunglasses so as not to meet this guy again.              ~Tim~

My idiot sons.

Last night at midnight I received a call from two my sons who were both very drunk. They were singing happy birthday to you f____king Viet Cong. Cool but my birthday was awhile ago......     It's very difficult having idiots for sons.

~Tim~

I.D.

I was installing Skype into my pc and I decided to use the name of my dog as I.D. I was shocked to find out from Skype that someone else in the world is using my dog's name as an I.D. for Skype.

~Tim~ 

At the traffic corner.

I was standing on the corner waiting for the traffic light to change when I noticed a guy walking across the street intensely staring at his media device. He stopped in the middle of the street and continued to look at his device. The light changed and he was still stopped in the crosswalk. Irritated motorists began to sound their horns but to no avail. After some of the motorist began shouting their opinions about his intelligence, he moved slowly to the other side of the street. When he passed me I was able to checkout his handheld phone.  I was surprised to see that he was playing games.

~Tim~

For Dieters.

For all of you dieters out there: 

The most delicious taste is SLIM.

~Tim~

Miss Beautiful

If you come to Nishinakajima you will see a number of delivery people scurrying here and there. Except one... Miss Beautiful. 
She is a short women about 25 years old. She weighs about 80 or so kilos. Each of her finger nails are painted a different color. Although she's not married she wears a wedding ring. She calls herself Miss Beautiful. 

She must be the worlds most affable person. 

She knows just about everyone around here. Every ten or fifteen meters she stops to speak to someone. 
 After dropping off a package at my office, I found her sitting at my desk looking at baby pictures. Another time she complained that the package was too heavy and she asked me to help her.
She may not be the best delivery person but she is certainly the most interesting.

~Tim~

A delivery person and a pretty girl.

Recently I observed a delivery person running along the sidewalk pushing a cart in front of him. He wasn't watching where he was going but watching a very pretty girl in front of him. 

Unfortunately he didn't see the sign post in front of him. He crashed the cart into the post knocking himself on his butt. 

The pretty girl never noticed him.

~Tim~

Made in Italy by artist.

I had to by some new jeans so I went to a members only shop in which I belong. In the men's section I met an older man well over 70 who wore a pair of thick glasses and a warm smile. I asked him to show me some cheap jeans. His smile became much bigger. 
He said "Maido" in Japanese. He then sold me three pairs of expensive Italian slacks and matching jacket which according to him were made just for me in Italy. My credit card was totally nuked.

If you are in Osaka be careful of senior salesmen with warm smiles.

~Tim~

Her eyes said,

I got on an express train recently. Due to a leg injury I must use a cain. As soon as I got on the train a young woman jumped up and offered me her seat. As I was near my stop, I declined.  She then offered me her seat again.  I declined again. She then offered her seat for a third time.  
This time, however,  the look in her eyes said "sit down or I'll kill you." 
 I then thanked her and sat down...

~Tim~

Small world

I often go to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned. The hygienist who treated me for two years left to have her baby. Her replacement treated me for another two years. She also left to have a baby. She was replaced by the original hygienist who returned to work after her child was able to get into a daycare center. It's a small world.

~Tim~

hygienist : 歯科衛生士

replacement：後任

Bullet train

I overheard some European tourist asking some Japanese people for directions to the 'bullet train'. The Japanese people didn't understand what they were talking about. It seems that Japan's high speed train is known internationally as the 'Bullet train'. But no one in Japan knows this. Here is called the 'Shinkansen'. 
So if you are here in Japan and ask for the bullet, someone may call the police.

〜Tim~

*bullet train : 超特急列車、新幹線

　bullet : 弾丸

Thanks for the well-trained shop staff,

I was in a DIY store recently and due to gimpy knees I fell down face first. The store staff were well-trained for such an emergency as four or five of them rushed toward me. One of them read to me from a manual that I was having a heart attack but I shouldn't worry as the AED was on it's way. The guy with the AED had the fire of excitement in his eyes. After I told them that my heart was fine it was only my knees a look of disappointment spread over their faces. Especially the guy with the AED. A female clerk explained to me that they had practiced the AED drill for weeks and this was the first real chance to use it.

〜Tim〜

gimpy:不自由な